It has always been known to man that heredity is how we adapt traits like skin color, eye color, hair color, height, facial features, even diseases. We inherit traits and characteristics from our parents which we eventually either grow out of or embrace them. For me, the one thing that I eventually grew out of was my short temper. My mother had always had a short fuse and as a child, I always thought that was okay because I saw my mom doing it and it seemed fine. It was later in life that I realized how toxic it was so, I did my best to correct that and now, I am happy to say that I got over it.
The truth is there will be a lot of things that we inherit that we do not necessarily like. At times, it becomes our source of insecurity. Being a dark-skinned girl in a family of fair people, it has always been a challenge for me to embrace the things I had inherited, things I have no control over. It took a toll on my mental state and to this day, I still try and cope with that feeling of being ugly just because I looked different.
Growing up I had issues with my mental health that I never realized was a psychological issue because of how I was brought up. Being sad was a big no because I would always be told that I had it easy and being too happy meant that I was ungrateful for what I had. It was not an easy journey for my mental health and it took time, it still is taking time, for me to heal and let go of the past hurt.
I remember being in third grade and wanting to die because I was so depressed and I was so insecure that I felt like it was the only way I could express how I was feeling without being told that it was wrong. At that age, I had already been so depressed that I never really thought about how I could heal and learn from it.
Getting help was never an option for me because I myself did not know that I needed help. I never had realized that it was a problem until I had read a book about mental health and how I could get help if I needed it. It was a life-changing experience. My life had taken a turn for the better after that book. Since then, I had always made strides to be better and to make sure that I had always chosen the things and the people that were good for my mental health.
Being mentally ill is still a taboo in many countries. Talking about mental health is the first step to changing this negative thinking on mental health and it is here that people start to understand that people suffering from mental health issues are not crazy. Having a mental illness is not equal to being crazy, so we should all do our part in breaking that stigma because no one should ever be ashamed of being sick.
We should do our part in making sure that people going through mental issues are calm and safe. One thing we should all live by is that we should all treat everyone with a little kindness because we never know what someone is thinking or what they are going through. We all struggle with something and we all having demons we run away from. We should never judge anyone for struggling to be okay because at the end of the day, it is okay not to be okay and people should understand that.
Depression, anxiety, and other mental illnesses come in different shapes and sizes. Mental illness does not have a specific look or type, it can affect anyone. Even the happiest, brightest people go through the darkest of times and it is absolutely okay to not be so bright and happy all the time. After everything, we are all human and we all deserve to be able to express our own emotions without having to feel judged or despised.
In conclusion, always remember that it is okay if you do not feel one hundred percent all the time and it is okay to feel bad or insecure. IT IS OKAY NOT TO BE OKAY. YOU CAN BASK ON YOUR FEELINGS. BE AWARE OF IT. ACCEPT IT. It is a normal thing for human beings. Nothing can ever define you as a person, no mental illness, no insecurity can change you.
Just remember that if everything “inside” is too unbearable, YOU HAVE TO REACH OUT. If you need help then there is always help available like suicide hotlines and therapists but if you feel scared then there will always be family and friends. Nowadays, you can reach out to online counselors on apps like BetterHelp. More than anything, seeking professional help when your mental health starts to take a toll on your life is vital. Many people who struggle with anxiety and depression can find the support that they need from online therapy.
You are never alone and you should never feel like you are asking for too much. You are loved and your emotions are valid. Keep going.